Struggles
“When I was young I never needed anyone, makin love was just for fun. Those days are gone.”
My first two daughters I had in my early twenties. They were uncomplicated and without incident. My troubles would begin with my 3rd daughter Morgan. I failed to gain weight. She appeared to be struggling to thrive. At 36 weeks her heart would fall off the monitor and I was induced. Luckily she was perfect, 10 fingers and 10 toes. At this point I was done having children. My first marriage was dead in the water and I was facing life as a single mother. I promptly went on birth control, the IUD Mirena.
2 years later Matt would enter my life again. This time instead of our usually booty call we found ourselves all grown up. And madly in love. Yes madly meaning he drives me mad. But yet I find it completely endearing. He was my first and yes destined to be my last. You’re not going anywhere don’t get any ideas Matthew.
Coming from a relatively small family he longed for a large family. And children of his own. I found myself missing childhood where there was always a cousin in sight. So we decided more babies.
We would suffer our first miscarriage 8 weeks in. The fetus failed to develop. I miscarried naturally the week before Halloween. The next year we would be plagued with positive pregnancy test followed by my period weeks later.
Our next miscarriage would occur in July the next year. This one would put a strain on our relationship. We had heard the heartbeat. We had become invested. My body refused to let go so I had a D&C. I developed a reaction to my prescribed pain medication and then an infection. The recovery was rough.
Again we would be plagued with more positive pregnancy test followed weeks later by my period.
We bought a puppy.
Then our miracle happened. Matt lost his job, we moved, and discovered two little babies had taken root in my womb. They arrived with very little hoopla and incident 7 months later.
We would become pregnant again 3 months after the birth of the twins. But this time instead of a fetus my womb contained 5 empty sacks. Choricarcinoma was feared. I had another D&C followed by a round of the chemotherapy drug Methotrexate. I was put on birth control which caused my blood pressure to spike. My biopsy came back benign and I was taken off the birth control. My OB/GYN still felt I was fine reproductively.
I would become pregnant yet again. This pregnancy would start with bleeding, polyps, and the looming fear of miscarriage. My cervix and womb would appear to be full of polyps. A viable pregnancy seemed unlikely. Again faced with another D&C. Instead the polyps were removed from my cervix. More bleeding and then voila a viable fetus. I had kept this information close to the cuff. I also refer to this pregnancy as my own not we because in all honesty I had already accepted its demise.
Being over poor communication and shoddy treatment I found another doctor.
I went through a series of blood work. Extensive blood work. My initial test came back positive for Factor V Leiden, Lupus Anticoagulant, and Antiphospholipid Syndrome. To maintain this pregnancy I was put on a daily injection of the low dose blood thinner Lovenox and an aspirin a day.
Lovenox sucks. Period.
My blood work would also show a genetic mutation to my MTHFR gene. I am now to see a high risk OB as well. I will continue on the Lovenox till I’m 36 weeks and then switch to the drug Heparin twice a day. I will need to see a Hematologist to discuss my condition. Thrombophilia is caused by all the big words I mentioned above. I most likely face a life on blood thinners to avoid the possibility of deep vein thrombosis, stroke, and aneurysm.
Now what does any of these factors have to do with all my miscarriages you maybe wondering.
Factor V Leiden is the most common hereditary hypercoagulabilty disorder among Eurasians. Hypercoagulabilty or called Thrombophilia is the abnormality of blood coagulation. Thus causing an increase in blood clots.
Lupus Anticoagulant not to be confused with the disease Lupus are basically antibodies against substances in the lining of cells that prevent blood clotting.
Antiphospholipid Syndrome aka Hughes Syndrome is an autoimmune, hypercoagulable state caused by antibodies like the one mentioned above.
MTHFR is a gene that produces an enzyme. If you have a rare mutation of this gene it inhibits the production of this enzyme. The enzyme produced is needed for your body to absorb folic acid and vitamin B.
Folic Acid is needed to develop a fetus. If you have the above blood disorders some believe they cause decrease blood flow to the fetus. Thus causing miscarriage and even stillbirth. Hughes syndrome is believed to be the cause of recurrent pregnancy loss. Unfortunately women are not tested for any of these disorders till after repeated miscarriages and stillbirths. Often a woman will have a viable pregnancy thus causing doctors to not look for these factors till after much disappointment and heartbreak.
The treatment of using blood thinners to maintain a viable pregnancy is still very controversial. Some swear by it and others just call it the luck of the draw. Due to family and personal history pregnant or not I may still be stuck using them. Since they are proven to prevent thrombosis.
So how is my pregnancy going? Well you can imagine. It is anxious and filled with trepidation. Normally my blogs are all sarcasm and dry wit that I’m sure only I find amusing. But I feel it is very important for this information to be heard or read. That is why I tossed out there some boring medical jargon. Maybe another woman struggling with pregnancy loss with happen upon this blog. And maybe it will give her some insight. Sometimes we find comfort in knowing even with a possible grim outlook.
Candy Bottoms 