It was like opening my eyes and seeing for the first time. I did not recognize the woman I had become. I believed the lie. I let it eat me up inside.
Postpartum depression occurs in 5-25% percent of women following childbirth. The number is actually unknown, that would be what I call a rough estimate. Your age, socioeconomic status, the quality of your relationship or lack of, formula vs breastfeeding, tobacco use, stress, birth related trauma, the risk factors go on and on.
Postpartum depression is a dirty term among mothers. We shame each other into denying any feelings of inadequacy, grief, and sadness. We say things like you should be happy, you had a baby. Giving birth can get dangerous, tough good mothers suck it up and do what has to be done. We often hide our feelings of anguish.
In my case I projected this supermom image. In reality I was far from it. I had trouble sleeping. I had trouble getting out of bed. I was disinterested in my children, husband, and friends. I often cried alone hidden away in a bathroom. I did not engage my children. I stopped talking and sleeping with my husband. I became obsessed with anything and everything that was a distraction from my every day life.
By the time I realized what was happening I had nearly lost my marriage and my life.
Today I feel the overwhelming need to help in any way I can. First and foremost we need to stop shaming women, stop denying their feelings of sadness and inadequacy. To offer a helping hand not a judgment. We need to get our stories out there, we need to be heard.
This is where I need your help. I would like to compile letters, emails, pictures your thoughts, your stories of your struggle/struggles with postpartum depression. They will be unedited, uncut, okay maybe some spell check and compiled into a book. Not a blog but words on paper.
Please share this blog with your mother, your sister, your wife, your daughter, your friend, the neighbor across the street.
There is no monetary compensation for participating. Your story may help one woman or ten or thousands break their silence and seek help. My intention is to compile as many of your stories as I can and then seek backing for production through independent donations.
Writing has been cathartic for me. Just this simple blog makes me feel heard. That I am not alone. Sometimes that makes all the difference.
Please submit all correspondence to:
Email: samsandy80@yahoo.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/pages/Candy-Bottoms/310777708974370
If you would like to write an actual letter and please do, see above email to request a physical address.
Candy Bottoms 
Sweetheart, you have been HEARD! I’m going to share and share and share! I’m going to write out my story for you as well. 😉 Love you SO MUCH for this!
Let me see if I can dig up the awful picture I had my husband take of my postpartum belly with my C-Section. That started this terrible spiral of depression and isolation with me after Grace was born. It was so awful. I was so alone.
I was Jenn L’s childbirth teacher. I also suffered from PPD with my first and third children. I always tried to tell my students that PPD can and does happen and if they don’t think they like or love their baby, it’s okay. If they’re sad, scared, worried or overwhelmed, it’s okay, Even if they almost wish they’d never had the baby it’s okay. It’s a long, hard road for some moms (and dads.) Jenn and her husband did everything “right” and had nothing to be ashamed of. One voice can help, but the culture does need to change.
Awesome post.